Author Archives: Lee Desmond

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About Lee Desmond

Lee Desmond is Managing Director/Editor for RHEMA Publishing House. She lives in east Texas with her husband, has five grown children—all of whom may be scattered around the globe at any given time—is blessed to be called Nonny by her grandchildren, and loves for people to visit her home. Always thankful!

A true testimony

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I love my teenagers…and their friends. I’ve learned a lot from them over the years, and I hope that maybe I’ve taught them a thing or two. One thing I’ve heard more than once from some of them goes something like this – “I’ve just followed the rules all my life, and if I don’t experience things for myself, I’ll never learn, and I won’t be able to help others.” They equate “experiencing life” with having a dramatic testimony, the I-did-drugs-and-now-I-don’t or I-once-had-an-eating-disorder-and-I’ve-been-healed kind of testimony; and they seem to think they need that kind of testimony in order to be effective. And while it’s true that anything in life we experience can be used by God to help others in similar situations, I feel as if there’s an even more dramatic testimony, one that is harder than any other.

When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, He didn’t fall to any of the temptations the enemy tried to hand Him. Nope, not one — He walked away, following the perfect will of the Father. He knew who He was and WHOSE He was, so His ability to walk away showed a depth of relationship and strength of character that anyone would envy. And He had the ammunition He needed for protection…God’s Word. He walked that line unwavering, the line that we as sinful humans just don’t want to follow. We’d rather tell people about how we drifted from it and then recovered our step, thanks to God’s work in our lives.

But how many of us would ooh and aah over someone who actually walked in obedience and didn’t waver? I would, for one. Not that anyone would always stay on track at all times – most of us have chosen badly, paid hard consequences (some harder than others), eventually recovered, and lived to tell about it. And all that is part of life. But the most “dramatic” of all – the one that demonstrates depth and strength and true overcoming – is the one that follows Jesus; the one that stays strong during temptations; the one that walks that straight line; the one who may not have any spectacular worldly events to tell. The one who knows who he is and WHOSE he is, and lives to tell about it…THAT is the true testimony.

Winding down, but close to my heart

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It’s hard to believe that I’m down to my last few years of “formally” teaching my children – my youngest will be 11 tomorrow, and as I was working on school organization today, I had a mix of emotions rise up more than once. I know there are still several years left, but it feels weird to actually be winding down. It seems like yesterday when those middle-of-the-night panic attacks hit me, afraid that my children would never learn to read…

But we have had some wonderful years home schooling! I’ve saved so much of their work – papers written and corrected, artwork, poems, favorite books – and everything I look at brings back sweet memories. Most of them are simple, non dramatic, times no one else in the world, including my kids, would think at all significant. Any many of them probably weren’t. But they are in my heart as part of the fabric of my life — Davy sitting at her desk working on her Texas history newspaper; 4 year old Bo excitedly running into the room after he’d seen a blimp fly over the house, and not knowing what it was, drawing a picture for me; Erin drawing her sweet love pictures to me; Alyx memorizing The Swing; Cassie as a baby, sitting right beside us during all the activity.

Oh, it hasn’t always been easy…the piano being played always at the worst time -at least for someone; many tears over math; frustrations over siblings being too noisy; and never having enough time. Did we ever finish anything? Probably not. But we made so many valuable memories.

I’m so very grateful and blessed to have had these years, and I look forward to the few years left. What a privilege. I know I’ll feel a sadness, like I did today, when it actually does come to an end. But I also know that I have a wealth of remembrances to warm my heart, and every one is a treasure.

Doing Church

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I’ve been thinking about “doing church” lately, and what that really means. I think it means different things to different people at different times. I’m pretty sure that’s how it is for me. A friend of mine recently told me that, when one of his best friends and fellow elder died, he didn’t know how he would “do church” without him – he’d didn’t remember church without his friend.

So last night we went to a very expressive service, and the pastor, who was (and officially still is) Southern Baptist, taught about worship and how the institutional, traditional church needs to understand the need for more lively worship…how today’s generation of young Christians don’t do church in the traditional way and don’t care about the walls and boundaries denominations set up; and how all believers need to know the meaning of the Greek and Hebrew words describing worship, and then go and worship accordingly.

The music was loud, although really very good – the band was musical, the voices pleasant and harmonies tight. But unfortunately the acoustics weren’t good and we couldn’t understand many of the words. And although I didn’t have a bit of a problem with what the pastor taught out of Scripture, I really wondered if he thought up the subject for the evening once he turned around and saw visitors, older faces that usually grace the walls of traditional churches. Possibly. But even if he was completely prepared for his teaching before the service began, it seemed to me that he didn’t give much allowance for individual personalities in worship. God made us unique, and some of us may worship deeply and fully in a loud, expressive service; some of us may worship deeply and fully in a quiet, more “reverent” environment. Either way, what matters most is the expression of the heart.

I don’t think everyone has to jump on board (or jump around the church building) with loud music and shouting in order to be spiritual. But we do need to be thankful for our differences as we give praise to the God who loves us with an everlasting love. And we need to love those who are different than we are in forms of worship. However we choose to “do church” may not make as much difference to Him as it does to us; what matters is that we choose worship. “Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe.” Heb 12:28

It’s just not that simple…

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I have a friend who is also a minister and founder of a ministry to war torn countries in Africa. I heard him speak last week with his very thick French accent, but perfect English, and his message was so powerful – full of grace, boldness, power, and gentleness. Yes, all those things together. He spoke of loss…of loved ones, of life, of freedom. He himself lost many family members to the genocide in Rwanda. He had to sweep his family away to safety. He’s been in prison, tortured, beaten, threatened. But his joy is so full and contagious. His life is one that I would not even begin to truly understand…going to a depth that I can only imagine. Nothing simple about his life, nothing simple about his journey. But if you asked him why he has so much joy and contentment in his life, he’d say it is very simple – that his life is full and complete, lacking in nothing, because God has directed him all the way, and he has laid everything at His feet.

My daughter is going through a pretty tough time, and she gets angry when anyone tries to “help” her work her way through it. No one understands, she says, everyone thinks it’s all so simple. No one is going through the same thing. It’s all too complicated, it’s not as simple as everyone says it is.

Well, she’s right. But she’s also only half right. Because there is another side to the coin. One side is very complicated and detailed, and unless you’ve walked in her shoes, don’t try to help her. But the other side is very simple and easy. There is a way out of all the complicated mess. And we all have the opportunity to walk in that direction. When my friend from Africa says he’s found the peace that passes all understanding, it’s because he has received it in the midst of all the complicated messes of life, through Jesus Christ. He in no way minimizes the struggles of others…his whole life is dedicated to helping them. But he has that simple peace of heart and mind that only God can give. He’s lived the hell of hardships, and he chooses to walk hand in hand with Jesus. He probably has to begin that simple walk daily, starting fresh every single day as he wakes up to the harsh reality of a complicated life. But somehow, he does it. Oh, that I can walk in the same direction…that my sweet daughter can do the same.

I heard someone say recently that obedience is God’s love language…”if you love me, you’ll keep my commandments.” No, it isn’t always easy. Sometimes we may think we won’t survive. But God can truly give us a resting place in the midst of it. It’s just that simple.

Heavy sigh…

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I love my children, even when they don’t see very far beyond their noses. And it seems that for the past several years, that distance hasn’t changed much. I know God sees the big picture in their lives, and I’m thankful. I’m also thankful that He is the Holy Spirit to them…as much as I want to see them take the right path, the better road, I cannot make it happen. I’ve learned more about how little control I really have, in their lives and my own.

But no matter how much I know I can’t do, I still have the desire to see them make good and wise choices. Easier said than done. Heck, I still make foolish choices, so I certainly can’t expect them to be all wise and knowing. My prayer right now is that they can reach into their hearts and pull out what they know is strong and good, and then, with humility, lay it down before the Lord. They have the foundation…so I need to bank on the promise that they have been trained up in the way they should go and that they will return to it. One day…

We all need to be free of self, and only the Truth will set us free — not our “understanding of who we are.” I know it’s hard to face that truth, especially when we see the parts of self we really don’t like. When we read something or hear something we don’t like, we don’t want to listen, and I think it’s usually because we don’t want to face those areas of ourselves where we really need to change and grow. Who likes someone else telling us that we need to change? When faced with the truth, we’d rather run the other way…it seems easier. But in the long run, not only is it not easier, we’re missing out on great blessing and growth which helps make us stronger and better people.

And our motivation needs to be love…love of God and others. As we grow, as my children grow, I pray that we will be motivated by love and service to those around us. Then we will truly understand “who we are.”

Parenting

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I was thinking today about how much “easier” my 10 year-old seems to be than some of my other four children. Well, most of them. Of my five children, my son is easy compared to his dramatic sisters. But my 10 year-old daughter (I realize the hormones haven’t kicked in yet) is also in the easy category. At least that’s how it seems. Reality check: I think it has more to do with me and my parenting her than it does with how different she might be.

All of my kids are great and have wonderful strengths, and I’ve enjoyed them all. I’d be lying if I said I enjoy them all the time, because there have been times when they’ve been downright hard to like.  And there have been times when I wanted so badly to retire from motherhood. There have been fearful times, angry times, embarrassing times, disappointing times — but when I look at the bigger picture, the laughter, hugs, love, and enjoyment transcend the hard things. And all of those times are what make up the depth of our relationships. My hope is that we’ll all look back sooner than later and see that we’ve come a long way and that we really do have a loving family.

Back to my 10 year-old. She’s just a great kid. I know I’m not as hung up in making sure I do everything right, that she does everything right, that she turns out as “good” as our neighbor’s kid, that she always gives the right Sunday school answer. I’m just glad she’s part of our family. I think learning to relax as a parent has been a good thing for me, but especially for her. Not that we disregard discipline, rules, etc. But there just isn’t the underlying expectation on myself or on her to be the perfect mother and perfect daughter. That alone is probably the best thing for both of us.

Maybe I’ll be updating this blog in a few years once those hormones have taken over. We’ll see. But for now, I’m just enjoying the gift God has given me with her and am so very thankful for the time we’ve had. I just pray I can be as much of a blessing to her as she is to me…

Janie

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I have a new friend named Janie, who at 26 has gone through more hardships of life than anyone else I’ve known, mostly because of her choices. But the best thing about it all is seeing God’s work in her life…if left up to her or society, she would either be in prison or dead. Instead, thankfully, she is working as an intern in a ministry where she has opportunities to speak to young people about their choices and hopefully steer them in a different direction. Corrie Ten Boom said that there is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still…and Janie’s life proves it.

But at the same time, while rejoicing that she has been able to climb out of the pit at God’s direction, I wonder about others who have dug themselves in pretty deep and seem to have no light at the top. At least not yet. My prayer for them is that they will find favor, as Janie did, and turn back before it’s too late. I truly believe that God’s love and grace is sufficient…but I have to confess that it would be nice to see it in their lives, like in Janie’s. Maybe the Hope I see from her story is what will carry me…Lord, help me impart it to others…